In This Issue
Welcome to the ezine for evolving women entrepreneurs.
- A Note from Marcy
- Upcoming Events
- Feature Article: The Power of Positive Praise
- About Marcy
- Upcoming Events for Women Entrepreneurs
- Your Feedback
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I had another mind-blowing, life-changing experience at my second in-person mastermind meeting in late April.
I received powerful feedback from the group and our coach on my business; I had insights and "aha" moments; I even had a profound symbolic dream!
Then I came home and spent the next two weeks barely getting anything done.
That is the nature of internal change and transformation. No one is spared that experience; it just has to unfold.
I'll be sharing more about that in an upcoming article on The Energy of Your Business. For two weeks, the energy of my business was flat. Now I'm back on the abundance and action path.
What's the energy in your business right now? It's a great question to consider.
More on that shortly! Til then, best wishes for your success!
6/3/2010, 2pm ET. My f*ree monthly teleclass on Is Money Your Honey?: Uncovering Your Money Mindset. To learn more and to sign up, visit http://www.marcystahl.com/teleclasses/
6/11/2010, 11:45am ET. I'll be speaking on Developing an Abundant and Profitable Mindset at the Women's Network of Springfield VA.
6/14/2010, Local organizing guru Linda Clevenger will be interviewing me about procrastination styles. More to follow on how to get in on this call, because this material applies to all of us!
The Power of Positive Praise
"There are two things people want more than sex and money... recognition and praise." Mary Kay Ash.
You will have stronger, more enduring relationships with your clients and team members if you praise them 5-10 times as often as you say something negative. The same holds true for your marriage and probably your parenting.
Researchers have studied the ratio of positive to negative feedback in different settings: among teams, in marriages, between managers and their staff.
Summarizing the results from over 100 studies: "High performance teams and marriages that last and are happy with their relationship will have a [positivity to negativity] P/N ratio around 5. Low performance teams and marriages ending in divorce typically have a ratio between 0.4 and 0.9; i.e., more negativity than positivity. If your P/N ratio is above 11.6 you don't have enough grounding and your excess of optimism will soon be deflated by a world that requires a healthy dose of negative feedback." http://www.successfactors.com/blogs/workforce-performance/too-much-positive-feedback-a-bad-thing/ accessed 1/21/09.
To translate that into everyday English, the sweet spot for healthy relationships is to offer 5 times as much positive feedback as negative feedback. In a given day, you might point out one negative thing that bugs you and offer 5 compliments about what you like.
Giving more negative feedback than positive feedback is a characteristic of teams with low performance and of divorced couples. Which makes sense. Who wants to spend time with someone who's always criticizing you?
Many of us were taught that it's important to correct people when they're doing something wrong. At one extreme, we only comment on someone's performance when it's wrong, at which point we say something critical. That one-sided style doesn't really inspire anyone to do their best in the future!
On the opposite end of the spectrum, if you give a LOT of positive feedback, more than 11 times as much positive as negative, that's being overly optimistic to the point of being unrealistic. And people don't value praise that seems so disconnected from their level of commitment or expertise.
What can be a bit tricky about supplying effective feedback is that we each have a different idea of 1) what we want to be praised for and 2) how we want to be praised.
What we want to be praised for
One of the most powerful exercises I participated in during my Myers-Briggs training was about praise. The room of participants was split into 4 groups, based on our personality types, and each group was asked to write down answers to the following questions: "What do you want to be recognized for? How do you want to be appreciated?".
One group wanted to be praised for doing something nice for someone else, doing excellent work, and doing something without supervision. Getting praised for those accomplishments was more important than being rewarded. The praise could be verbal or written.
In another group, they wanted to be appreciated for everything, from the quality of their work to their very existence. Desired appreciation ranged from time off, receiving reciprocal thoughtfulness, public affirmation (applause was welcome), personal gifts, notes, money, even diamond tiaras!
These examples point out HOW VERY DIFFERENT one person's vision of praise, and what actions deserve praise, can be from another's.
How we want to be praisedAsk to find out
Keep in mind that your idea of worthwhile activity and your idea of positive feedback may not be the same as the people with whom you're working (or living). So ask them: "How do you know you are appreciated? How do you like to be recognized and rewarded?"
Provide positive attention
This includes using an upbeat tone of voice and bestowing your FULL attention on the person you're praising.
Make it specific, not generic
Go beyond "you did a good job". Why? 1) People who are oriented toward logic want to know WHY they're getting praise. People who are more oriented toward relationships or inner values are more willing to receive general praise. They will fill in the blanks by themselves about WHY they're getting it! 2) People want to feel valued for who they are as a person, not just for their actions. Actions can be part of your feedback, but don't stop there.
Remember that your team members (spouse, kids) are working towards their OWN vision of success, to feed their WHY. (And their vision of success is probably NOT your vision of success.) When possible, connect the praise to what you know about their WHY. "I know you made a lot of phone calls last week. I appreciate your perseverance on that. Persevering is really going to help you win that cruise to Mexico."
Try this format, recommended by Bob Nelson, author of 1001 Ways to Reward Employees.
- I saw what you did
- I appreciate it
- It's important because...
- It makes me feel....
CALL TO ACTION
I'm confident you're already using the power of positive praise with your team or clients. Amp it up even more by using the format described above. And don't forget your spouse and family! Listen to your speech with them and see where you can bring your positive/negative ratio up to 5 or higher.
Ready to move from information into action? Let's set up a complimentary 30-minute strategy session to discuss your leadership goals and how to attain them. You can reach me at email@example.com.
© 2010 Marcy Stahl
WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete description with it: Marcy Stahl motivates women entrepreneurs to move from having only a trickle of clients to an abundant full flow of more clients, more money, and more decision-making power. If you're ready to empower yourself AND boost your business, if you want to share YOUR passion with more people, schedule your free 30-minute Marcy Stahl Success Strategy Session by clicking here http://www.marcystahl.com/contact-marcy.html
Marcy Stahl is an entrepreneur whose purpose in life is helping women entrepreneurs achieve world domination, by earning more money and creating more decision-making power. Because the world will only be a better place when more women are in charge!
She effectively guides her clients to move from struggle and lack, to abundance and ease, by creating effective systems and marketing strategies. She uses this same powerful success system to help direct sales consultants improve their recruiting and leadership skills.
To learn more about her services, visit http://www.marcystahl.com/contact-marcy.html and sign up for your free 30-minute Marcy Stahl Success Strategy Session (and get great free resources, too!)
Have you ever wondered why some people seem to have found the perfect match between who they are and what they do professionally... while for others finding this match seems elusive? And I mean some extremely intelligent, capable, and brilliant people who just can't quite seem to find that career or business that fits....maybe that someone is you? Do you ever find yourself feeling:
- Burned out from trying so hard to make things work (but finding just more of the same results/lack of results)?
- Outright dread as you face the day or workweek ahead?
- Like your heart and soul is dying on the vine because you are so busy being what people expect of you that you never get to be authentically you?
Perhaps you have thought:
There has to be MORE to life than this? If these words sound familiar to you... you will not want to miss the free teleclass my colleague Paula G is offering May 20th called "The 3 Pitfalls to Creating a Life & Career You Love & How to Avoid Them".
Here's a bit about Paula G:
I can remember many years ago coming home from my first day at work in my first "real job" out of college with tears in my eyes. My loving and caring parents asked me, "What's wrong?" And, I said, "I really hated it, I didn't fit in, and felt miserable." In their well-meaning way they assured me "It'll get better, it's only the first day." The problem was it never really did get better...
Ultimately, after 17 years in Corporate America feeling like I never fit in, I had a transformational experience. In fact I had several over the course of a few years that completely altered what I believed about myself and the way in which I wanted to live my life. As a result I made peace with my day job and found joy there even as I was creating a new future for myself that future culminated in me starting and running my own business full time.
Now I know what it feels like to live on purpose and engaged in work that is meaningful and aligned with who I really am and what I really want personally and professionally. This is why I created the Life Alchemy Success Formula(TM). My passion is helping people like you give yourself permission to uncover and live life by your own design. Life Alchemy(TM) is about bringing your essence, your purpose to consciousness and expressing it in tangible, practical ways in your personal and professional life. Through a combination of inner work and practical action, you too can leave the "shoulds" behind and rewrite a new story that reignites your sense of freedom and adventure.
Join Paula G on May 20 for her dynamic f*ree call "The 3 Pitfalls to Creating a Life & Career You Love & How to Avoid Them". In this energetic and interactive call you will discover:
- The #1 reason people find themselves in a career or business that doesn't fit and doesn't satisfy.
- The main determining factor for whether you'll have a life and career that brings you success and satisfaction or leaves you flat (or worse yet miserable).
- How you can begin to reignite a sense of freedom and adventure in your life and business right away.
Here are the details:
When: Thursday, May 20th at 12 Noon Eastern
Where: Anywhere YOU are via telephone
The class is free but you need to register in order to attend. Register at: www.thepaulagcompany.com/teleclass
This class will be recorded, but you need to register in order to receive it. I urge you to register if this resonates with you. This information will radically alter the way you view your personal and professional life and give you practical next-steps so you can reclaim and re-invent the YOU you're most meant to be.
I'm always interested in your feedback on the topics in this ezine. I'd be delighted to hear from you about your experiences as they related to any of our ezine topics, your thoughts on the ezine itself, as well as topics you'd like to see in future issues.
Send an email to firstname.lastname@example.org and let me know what's on your mind. I appreciate your perspective.
If you know other women entrepreneurs who want to THRIVE, instead of simply surviving, please forward this newsletter to them.
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